She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
