This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
