I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
