Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
