I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
