Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
