Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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