smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
