Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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