As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
