yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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