she looked like the bat from fern gully.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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