she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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