Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
