There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
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It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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