the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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