I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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