You can't special order awesome
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
