She said her name was "party"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
