Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there's paper in my vomit.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
