found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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