I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
