I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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