Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

we've started having sober sex

(203): View more from Connecticut

you really do like him

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(703): View more from Virginia

Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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(817): View more from Texas

All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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(858): View more from California

I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?

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(845): View more from New York

You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

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(209): View more from California

Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING

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(904): View more from Florida

My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.

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(716): View more from New York

I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.

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