Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
