you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
