honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
