You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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