Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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