Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
