I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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