so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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