Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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