Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub? (1-250): tequila http://tfl.nu/yi12
  Replies (12) Good night (5239) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez. http://tfl.nu/551w
  Replies (4) Good night (3296) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster. http://tfl.nu/wnb4
  Replies (25) Good night (7500) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx
  Replies (18) Good night (832) Bad night (5506)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar http://tfl.nu/nsmi
  Replies (20) Good night (1438) Bad night (5922)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up. http://tfl.nu/2rkk
  Replies (9) Good night (946) Bad night (3312)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1047) Bad night (3249)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!" http://tfl.nu/0rpe
  Replies (19) Good night (2400) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux
  Replies (1) Good night (1263) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization. http://tfl.nu/k6sn
  Replies (5) Good night (1473) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue. http://tfl.nu/inzh
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please. http://tfl.nu/ca04
  Replies (9) Good night (457) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.

  (845): View more from New York

  I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home. (845): I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip" http://tfl.nu/e0kb
  Replies (7) Good night (1893) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week. http://tfl.nu/fbwq
  Replies (3) Good night (252) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job. http://tfl.nu/3704
  Replies (4) Good night (756) Bad night (492)

Randomize