Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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  (213): she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down. http://tfl.nu/is1d
  Replies (1) Good night (1738) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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  (703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn
  Replies (11) Good night (754) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.

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  (306): I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help. http://tfl.nu/3amb
  Replies (29) Good night (768) Bad night (3889)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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  (925): Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless http://tfl.nu/dgln
  Replies (23) Good night (3405) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian

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  (902): i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian http://tfl.nu/10y7
  Replies (5) Good night (3729) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

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  (503): Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general. http://tfl.nu/8yi1
  Replies (9) Good night (5029) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (3029) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.

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  (+61): We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away. http://tfl.nu/e1yg
  Replies (10) Good night (2412) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.

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  (901): We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults. http://tfl.nu/zv4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".

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  (401): Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans". http://tfl.nu/re7n
  Replies (6) Good night (415) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing

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  (914): Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing http://tfl.nu/dzxw
  Replies (1) Good night (1271) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me

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  (816): well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me http://tfl.nu/tnly
  Replies (7) Good night (820) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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  (724): At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped. http://tfl.nu/hng6
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it

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  (478): I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it http://tfl.nu/z8oy
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.

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  (503): If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it. http://tfl.nu/6z3z
  Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (419)

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