Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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(954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m

Replies (16) Good night (4096) Bad night (1106)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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(605): you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out? http://tfl.nu/fgrz

Replies (59) Good night (9595) Bad night (829)
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(360): View more from Washington

I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

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(360): I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds... http://tfl.nu/1y93

Replies (16) Good night (1324) Bad night (6051)
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(212): View more from New York

it was like a zeppelin in a condom

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(212): it was like a zeppelin in a condom http://tfl.nu/vkzf

Replies (27) Good night (4256) Bad night (1049)
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(517): View more from Michigan

He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

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(517): He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls http://tfl.nu/0ix2

Replies (3) Good night (3183) Bad night (885)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout

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(612): So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout http://tfl.nu/u300

Replies (6) Good night (2530) Bad night (1049)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.

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(734): Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands. http://tfl.nu/f2kb

Replies (12) Good night (3852) Bad night (825)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.

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(503): Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake. http://tfl.nu/amef

Replies (18) Good night (5301) Bad night (1629)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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(920): Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better http://tfl.nu/nui9

Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (1530)
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(253): View more from Washington

There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.

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(253): There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs. http://tfl.nu/3p74

Replies (22) Good night (5190) Bad night (706)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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(407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i

Replies (11) Good night (1758) Bad night (529)
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(873): View more from

I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in

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(873): I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in http://tfl.nu/bvll

Replies (3) Good night (1898) Bad night (334)
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(253): View more from Washington

Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.

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(253): Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight. http://tfl.nu/dlgc

Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (236)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.

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(719): Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/uyof

Replies (5) Good night (1386) Bad night (352)
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(212): View more from New York

He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.

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(212): He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose. http://tfl.nu/cetz

Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (181)

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