I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
