i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other