I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
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My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public