Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.