hotties wanna shake it
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it