I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
