There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize