'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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