I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
