So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
