I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
