When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
