your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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