I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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