I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
