You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize