After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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