If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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