I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize