idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
