capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
two words: eviction party
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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