So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There's always time for handjobs
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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