new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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