It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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