matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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