apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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