Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize