She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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