I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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