Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
