i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
