My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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